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Spawn of Griffith | Me against the membranes

Me against the membranes

Saturday February 11, 2006 | by Dalia Griffith | 0 comments

As my dearly devoted revealed in his last post, I recently had my membranes stripped in an effort to jump start labor. Now for those of you who have been pregnant, you’ve either experienced this nasty little procedure, or can, at the very least, conjure an idea of what it’s like to be on the receiving end. If you haven’t been pregnant, but you are female, think of membrane stripping as something like this: you go in for your annual pelvic exam, only to discover that the procedure is being conducted by someone who despises you. Hates your freakin’ guts to the point of bodily harm. Then, imagine said enemy sprinkled angel dust on his or her cornflakes that morning, just to be sure his/her rage was at its most intense. See where I’m going with this? If you’re a guy, I guess the best way to describe this in terms you can understand is a colonoscopy gone bad. Really, really bad. And minus the sedation, of course.

OK, so stripping the membranes hurt like a bitch. And here I am, several days later without a baby to show for it. I did get some Braxton Hicks (fake contractions, basically) last night, but that’s about as exciting as it gets as of now.