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Spawn of Griffith | Things to do to Denver when you're bored

Things to do to Denver when you're bored

Tuesday February 7, 2006 | by Dalia Griffith | 0 comments

One of the realities I’ve accepted about my third trimester is that I simply cannot do some of the things I once did regularly. Like riding the horses or walking the dogs (icy roads simply don’t jibe with pregnant waddling). Or just getting off the couch unassisted … but that’s another story all together.

Anyway, to avoid feeling empty or unfulfilled, I’ve just had to refocus my efforts toward other means of entertainment. Namely, tormenting my cat, Denver. Now don’t get me wrong, I adore this cat. But she’s quite the prima donna and an absolute hoot to harass. And nothing I do is harmful to her in any way—it just annoys the hell out of her.

Here are some of my favorite tactics:

Moving her from, or adjusting her in, her chosen place of rest.

Nothing pisses Denver off like being told what to do. So when she’s picked up or repositioned in any way, she lets out this low howling noise that is, I have to admit, downright hilarious. And she’ll do it at the slightest provocation, like, for example, if she’s sleeping next to me in bed and I have to move her hindquarters over a bit, just so I can have a little room to breathe, she’ll release a lengthy “mrrrrooooowwwwohhhh” before accepting her new position and dozing off again. She never puts up a fight, though, she just likes to bitch for a while before going about her business.

Picking her up and putting her back down in the direct path of our other cat, Julius

Julius and Hugh joined our clan over three years ago, but it’s only been in the last six months that Denver’s finally accepted Hugh, and barely a month since Julius has been upgraded to a (mostly) non-threatening (is this a word?) entity. And by “upgraded” I mean that she doesn’t hiss and swat at him (Julius) every time he approaches, or dares to jump on the (queen-sized) bed while her heiness is sleeping next to Mom.

But while she’s slowly learned to accept Julius, they still get into swatting matches from time to time, so the relationship is still fragile. Which is why it’s so fun to pick her up and set her down right in his path.

She’ll kind of ball up and her eyes will narrow, and they’ll both stand motionless and stare for a few seconds until someone throws the first swat. Claws are never bared (otherwise, we wouldn’t encourage this behavior, we swear), but there’s always a rapid thumping of heads before they break for it and run to opposite sides of the room.

Rubbing her belly
One of Denver’s favorite sleeping positions is flat on her back, with her hind legs dangling open, or as Hugh describes it, “airing out the junk.” (See photo above.) That’s when it’s fun to reach down and scratch her belly, because it totally offends her that anyone would dare disturb the queen at rest. And in response, she’ll wrap up your hand in her paws and start biting and clawing the crap out of you. It hurts like hell, but it’s worth the sacrifice just for pure entertainment value.