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Spawn of Griffith | Dear Jack ... (volume six)

Dear Jack ... (volume six)

Saturday April 29, 2006 | by Dalia Griffith | 0 comments

Grandma Milby bought you a bunch of toys, two of which you loved, and two that blew your mind to the point of terror this morning. First, your faves: they both require that you lie underneath while a series of colorful shapes spin above you, and a panel higher up flashes lights and plays music. And they’re my favorites too because I get up to 20 minutes of “Jack’s occupied” time to check email or just recover (kinda) from my 5 a.m. wakeup call (courtesy of you, but that’s cool).

The fearsome playthings are books that we thought would be cool because you can touch shapes and pictures, which in turn trigger music and cool sounds. Right away, it was clear that the Thomas and Friends’ opus “It’s Great to be an Engine” was too loud—your bottom lip started quivering, and then there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth (or gums, rather), before I quickly did my best to stash the offensive material. Because, strangely, the book didn’t have on “off” button, or even a volume control, so we both had to ride the painfully-loud ditty out in full.

The second book wasn’t nearly as traumatic, in fact, you really liked it for a while. But after about five minutes, you became seriously over stimulated and your curiosity quickly gave way to anxiety. But thankfully, this literary masterpiece was easy to shut down, so things returned to normal without a major incident.

We’ll reintroduce Thomas some time down the line, because we’re all dying to know why it’s so great to be an engine.